Klutz with a K

I have spacial relationship issues. As in, if there is a doorjam, or a counter, I run into it, or smash my finger, or bash my shin. Now I'm not saying I'm Mr. Magoo - I don't have a moustache (yet.), but I am a klutz. I sometimes wonder if my life were a movie, if they would have to call in a stunt double for the star, or if the injuries are light enough that a pro could pull it off. However not all of the "accidents" are my fault. Because really Costco? Putting a cement slab right in front of the frozen pizzas? Why would you keep me that extra 6 inches away from my 2# of mozzarella cheese (for $3.49 btw)? Consider yourself on notice Costco. You and all the other inconvenient things put in my way...like doors and windows, and those pesky floors I sometimes trip on.