The good with the bad....and the caffiene.

Like any job, being self employed has its advantages and disadvantages. There is a lot of freedom which seems to be the big draw and point of interest to many people. Yet, what happens behind the scenes is where the magic happens. You think about what needs to happen when you wake up, in the shower, writing notes to yourself with a toothbrush in your mouth....phone calls, self promotion....media of all outlets...and you continue to work/call/think as you fall asleep....and then dream about it. (are you seeing it? You work all the time....) You need drive. You need a great support system. And you need a giant hanging IV bag of coffee. This is what has been going through my mind today as I rode my bike downtown to meet a friend for a lovely breakfast, and then stopped at the office supply store on my way home. And now, for whatever reason I am exhausted beyond belief (a fantastic breakfast discussion - getting out of bed can be so hard) but I have *updated my catalog *updated and ordered business cards *reordered stickers *blogged *and consumed half a pot of coffee. Oh, and it's 11am. I will say this, if I decided I wanted to take a nap, I'm pretty sure my boss would be ok with it....

It's not that I'm anti-kid.....

It's just very unfortunate that I rarely see examples of well behaved children. It seems a lack of follow through from the parent's side of things. For example, when your 2 year old runs up to a pot of flowers and starts picking them, it's not really cool to say "oh, isn't she cute!" No. I gaurentee that the owner of those flowers (in this situation me) does not think it's cute. They had been outside for 2 days and now they are shredded. As a child I wouldn't have dreamt of doing such a thing. I recall being terrified of my neighbors and most certainly didn't touch anything in stores (they were for big people and it was a big treat that I was allowed to go in). Now, I'm not tooting my own horn here, it has been verified by unbiased sources I was not a jackhole kid (that happened later...). So when kids come in and start throwing rice from displays around, smearing makeup on every surface he can reach and screaming at "the doggy" I can sure as shit gaurentee that is not cute...

I know people look at me as the baby hater. I'm not. I'm an irresponsible parent hater. Which in turn makes me snub the kids. So, if you want to break the stereotype that "kids these days" aren't as out of control as they really are, don't be that guy who thinks it's really cute. Say no. And then we don't have to be baby haters....

....and I'm pretty sure you all hate me now...but I think I'm ok with that....

Coming Up Daisies

So far my New Year's resolutions are plodding right along...I'm down 12 of my 30 lbs, and have 10 of 50 books under my growing ever smaller belt. I am only a few shops short of my goal, but having been picked up by Princess, I am thoroughly thrilled with it all.

It's funny how the universe removes people and things from your life and replaces them with things that are even better for you & you had no idea....and I am in a great place in my life and I couldn't be happier. Yes, I bust my ass, but I absolutely love what I do. How many people can truly say that?

I have finally allowed myself to a place where I no longer worry about calls being returned or playing nice for show of face. I don't dwell on why I lose contact...I just move on. And for the first time in my life I genuinely mean it. No hard feelings. Just feeling great. And it does. All of it.....feels great.

Sonograms Boil My Blood

I am the first to admit that I am less than thrilled about being around kids. They freak me out. Probably because I have never really been around them.....but that doesn't mean that my friends aren't "all baby, all the time." With all of the baby talk around you can't help but learn a little and form an opinion, or twelve. I can deal with a hospital birth, but you better have done your research. You realize it's just a business right? And that the more women they pump through there, the more money they get. You labor for more than 24 hours and they are going to pump you full of fake hormones (we call this inducing ladies, and unless you are past the 10 month mark that baby can keep cooking). These hormones slow labor down.....so they give you more which constrict your uterus...... and now your baby is in distress, and uh oh, spaghetti-o, you're having a ceasarian.

But the thing that sends me into a frenzy faster than the uneducated masses, are those that get multiple sonograms (for no medical reason mind you). Unless you are a high risk patient, there isn't need for even a single one. Want to know the sex of your baby? Wheres the fun and suspense? Regardless of the selfish angle, have you thought about the health of your baby? Think about it. They cover you with a lead sheet when you have x-rays at the dentist, and now you're all about bouncing beams of energy, uber rays and who knows into a developing child? Now I don't know if it's the shit ton of shots kids have to get now (in a single sitting) or that people are having 3 and 4 sonograms....but there is a problem in this country. These kids have some massive disabilities and it's getting worse by the day. What is to blame? I don't know. Kraft cheese. Peanuts. Who knows. But I'm quite sure we could all take the time to sit down and think about what is really good for the next generation before we go gayly into the OB's office smiling while they do things for no reason.

Klutz with a K

I have spacial relationship issues. As in, if there is a doorjam, or a counter, I run into it, or smash my finger, or bash my shin. Now I'm not saying I'm Mr. Magoo - I don't have a moustache (yet.), but I am a klutz. I sometimes wonder if my life were a movie, if they would have to call in a stunt double for the star, or if the injuries are light enough that a pro could pull it off. However not all of the "accidents" are my fault. Because really Costco? Putting a cement slab right in front of the frozen pizzas? Why would you keep me that extra 6 inches away from my 2# of mozzarella cheese (for $3.49 btw)? Consider yourself on notice Costco. You and all the other inconvenient things put in my way...like doors and windows, and those pesky floors I sometimes trip on.

"Whatever harm [the Baby Einstein] video might do [to your kid] is nothing compared to the harm of inheriting your hillbilly genes..."

It's Time to Put My Big Girl Panties On

Why? Other than looking awesome like Grandma Moses, we are taking this show on the road. Jetty and I are heading to the Seattle Wholesale Gift Show at the end of August. We have a fellow rockin Alaska jewelry designer along with us and we will be wowing Seattle and Portland with 2 trunk shows and our debut wholesaling to the greater Northwest. Pretty intense actually. Loads of paperwork to submit. Displays to flame proof (yeah, I said it. Flame proof.). And inventory to have ready. This is exactly what we've been waiting for, but that doesn't make it any less stressful. The schedule for the next few months: Tanana State Fair Aug 7-15, Seattle Aug 19-26, Fairbanks First Friday Sept 4 - 5, Fairbanks Holiday Show Nov 13 - 15...and then there's Christmas....And then we take a vacation.

Run Chubbs, Run!

I bought a $100 pair of shoes a few weeks ago and didn't even care what they looked like. And maybe I should have - because they are a bit orthepedic and stark white. But! They help with the running. Yup. We've been running an average of 3 times a week and I've slowly managed to triple my starting distance before my lungs implode and/or my legs fall off. And the distance I a up to? ALmost 3/4 of a mile at a time. I know, I know. Totally marathon bound by the fall, but I'm out there and doing it. Pretty proud. And pretty sure I will rock a 5k by the end of summer. Who knew eh?

Profound Thoughts

I haven't been posting as often as I would like as I feel like all I have to say are whiney things. Bitch about this. Crab about that. And talk about how rude people are getting. But it's true. Go to the super market and count how any times someone stops right in front of you, or forces you to move out of their way while they take up 3/4 of an aisle. People are so *not* self aware. The universe does not revolve around you, please keep that in mind and stop being a jackass.

Now, I realize that I have becomesfiercely (bordering on offensively) opinionated in my old age, but has no one ever told these people that it is not appropriate? Because what ever happened to customer service? Being a decent human being? Helping others? And in general not being a dick? I just don't understand.....